If there’s one question I get asked all the time, it’s this:

“Should we do a first look?”

And honestly? There isn’t a right or wrong answer.

I’ve seen some of the sweetest, most emotional first looks, and I’ve also watched grooms completely lose it the second the ceremony doors opened. I’ve had couples tell me afterward that their first look was their favorite part of the day, and I’ve had others say they can’t imagine doing anything other than seeing each other at the aisle. At my own wedding, my husband didn’t cry during our first look, but he wept at the ceremony seeing me come down the aisle with my Dad. It was so sweet. My husband said, “The first look felt more staged to me. Versus at the ceremony, it felt real, I realized I was getting married.”

So if you’re stuck trying to decide, hopefully this helps.

Both are beautiful. Both are emotional.

And both become some of the most memorable moments of the day.

The decision really comes down to one simple question: How do you want your wedding day to feel? How do you want to spend your wedding day?

Choosing a First Look

A first look is exactly what it sounds like. Instead of seeing each other for the first time during the ceremony, you have a private moment together before everything officially begins.

Usually, your photographer will help choose a quiet location while your photographer, videographer and content creator document the moment from a distance. It’s one of the only opportunities you’ll have all day to simply be together without 150 people watching.

Some couples exchange private vows or letters, while others just hug, laugh, cry or take a deep breath before the excitement begins. It is an opportunity to have a private moment together, to be emotional if you need to be too.

From a planning perspective, a first look also creates a much more flexible wedding day timeline. Because you’ve already seen each other, your photographer can often complete many of your portraits before the ceremony, including bridal party photos, immediate family photos and even couples portraits. That usually means you’ll spend less time taking photos after the ceremony and more time enjoying cocktail hour with the people you invited to celebrate with you, enjoying the party you paid for!

One thing I always encourage couples to think about is this: your wedding day goes by so quickly. If you choose to do a first look, you actually get to spend more of it together. Instead of spending the entire morning and day apart and then immediately jumping into the ceremony in the late afternoon or early evening, you get to share part of the excitement, calm each other’s nerves and experience more of the day side by side.

It’s something many couples don’t think about until after the wedding. Between getting ready, portraits, the ceremony, greeting guests and celebrating with family and friends, your time together can feel surprisingly limited. A first look gives you the opportunity to slow down, soak in the moment and simply enjoy being with the person you’re about to marry. For many of my couples, that extra hour or two together ends up being one of the biggest advantages of choosing a first look.

Choosing an Aisle Reveal

If you’ve always pictured seeing your fiancé for the first time as you’re walking down the aisle, don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. There is something incredibly special about saving that moment. This is the traditional, old school way to do it.

The anticipation builds all morning. You don’t know what the other person looks like, your guests are waiting and then suddenly the music begins.

When those doors open and you lock eyes for the first time, everything else seems to disappear.

For many couples, that’s exactly how they’ve always imagined their wedding day, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with choosing tradition.

The biggest difference is usually your timeline. Since you’ll be seeing each other for the first time during the ceremony, many of your portraits will happen afterward. That may mean spending a little more time taking photos during cocktail hour before joining your guests, but for many couples, it’s a tradeoff they’re more than happy to make.

So… Which One Is Better?

The truth is, neither.

One isn’t more romantic than the other.

One doesn’t necessarily make for better photos.

One isn’t always more emotional.

They’re simply two different experiences.

I’ve had couples tell me their first look was their favorite part of the entire day because it gave them a chance to slow down and be together before everything started. I’ve also had couples tell me they wouldn’t change their aisle reveal for anything because that first glance during the ceremony was everything they’d imagined.

Neither couple made the wrong decision.

The only mistake would be choosing one because someone on TikTok told you it was the “right” way to do it.

Your wedding should reflect the two of you, not what’s trending.

My Advice

If you’re struggling to decide, stop thinking about what photographs better or what someone else recommends. Instead, picture yourself on your wedding day.

Do you imagine wrapping your fiancé in a hug before the ceremony, sharing a few quiet moments together and walking into the ceremony feeling relaxed?

Or have you always pictured taking that first step down the aisle, locking eyes for the first time with everyone you love surrounding you?

Would it be more important to you to get the photos out of the way, so you can enjoy your party?

Because years from now, you won’t remember whether you chose what was popular.

You’ll remember how you felt in that moment.

And whether your first look happens in a quiet garden before the ceremony or across the aisle as the doors open, it’s going to be one of the moments you’ll carry with you forever.

Xoxo, Sierra from Moments to Hold